Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Union Pacific Going Under

The (fake) AP is reporting today that the Union Pacific Railroad company is going under and won't last the afternoon. Bummer for anyone who invested anything more than $100.

Also, this is a joke. Maybe I'll put a real blog post up soon.


David said...

That's ridiculous. The undelying holdings of UNP are firmly cemented. Most notably a notorious special education teacher has been unwaveringly backing the company through these difficult times.

"Our plans to integrate freight and passenger services by charging hobos and free riders market rate prices to hop freight cars is not only an unprecedentedly creative revenue generator, it's just damn generous," says major share holder David Cornelius Rosser.

Maybe before you send investors into a hair-pulling frizzy, you should do some research. UNP forever.

By the way- Did you just hear that Steve Jobs has recalled all iphones, citing their incompatabily with pacemakers. Shares will plummet.

Travis Thompson said...

David, don't you know? It's well reported that this is obviously a poorly placed jab at people with pacemakers; a group Jobs shuns as "half breeds," himself being completely robotic.